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Bouncing Along In Life - 3
By Tiuniasing | September 20, 2007
I was with my mum, trying to comfort her though I knew it’s impossible. She kept embracing me and said:-”He is gone… He is gone… He has left us… How can he do that to me?? How…”Then I hid in the staircase and called CJ. I told her about everything in the hospital and I said I think of her at that moment, because I needed someone to talk to…
CJ spoke to me in the softest tone. I felt better after that. Then I went back to the ward. My brother’s eyes were half open with the eyeballs were slightly seen. I had never touched a dead body before, but I had to do it for the first time. I followed what people will do in the movie, with someone’s dead with eyes open. I tried to close his eyes, but I couldn’t make it. I think it was too late, it had been almost an hour or maybe more than that, since his last breath. Then there were a few cemetery agents or salespersons came by and attended my parents. I did not join them for discussion because I was not the one who made the decision after all. So I left for home.
When I reached home, I stood at the gate holding the keys. I looked at the house, and I whispered,”He won’t be back to this house anymore, forever!!”. I opened the gate, slowly. My neighbour, Mrs.Lim saw me, and asked:-
Mrs.Lim :: “How’s your brother’s condition?? Is he feeling better today??”
Tiuniasing :: “He’s gone.”
Mrs.Lim :: “…”
I smiled to her, and said:-
Tiuniasing :: “I’m alright. He just left about 3 hours ago.”
Mrs.Lim :: “I’m so sorry for hearing that. I… I… I just can’t believe it.”
Then I saw her tears were shed. She covered her mouth with her hands, and said:-
Mrs.Lim :: “I… I… I really can’t believe it. Your mum told me a couple days ago that his condition was getting better.”
Tiuniasing :: “It’s fate, we have to live with it.”
Mrs.Lim :: “But he was such an active and strong boy, he played all kinds of sports, he was so fit. How can he… How can he?? I am so sad now. Boy, you have to live stronger. Your parents need you the most now. Be strong!!”
Tiuniasing :: “I know, thanks.”
Mrs.Lim :: “Any idea when and where will the funeral service take place??”
Tiuniasing :: “They were dicussing in the hospital, but I left already. I totally had no idea about it.”
A little while later, my dad called me. He asked me to take out all my brother’s belongings, and said those belongings will be taken together with my brother to a better world. I took a shower. Then I entered my brother’s room, to keep all his stuffs as told by dad. I took out his clothes piece by piece, his photos, his sourvenirs from his friends and us, I took out his guitar. He liked his guitar a lot.
I remembered when he wanted to buy this guitar, he had a quarrel with my mum. My mum didn’t want to give him the money, and she didn’t even allow him to buy it. Then he came to me, and told me that he wanted the guitar so badly but he had no money. Immediately I lent him RM300 to buy it, and I worked with him to hide it from my mum. He told mum that he just borrowed the guitar from his friend. But mum found out later that the guitar belonged to him, because he had been keeping the guitar for more than a year or something. She scolded him for buying the guitar, and diued 9 7 me for giving him the money. She diued like no tomorrow just because of the guitar.
There are lotsa memories in the guitar. When I was holding his guitar, I plucked it with my very limited guitar knowledge, I played a couple simple songs. I took up the his photos, I flipped the photos, one by one. It took me back to the moment when we were kids and young. It reminded me of our happiness, our fighting moment, and everything, everything about us…
Bouncing Along In Life - 1
Bouncing Along In Life - 2
Topics: Life |
Why do I have this feeling that I have read this long long time ago?
so touching, still.. i’m in my office, again..
Hmm…i didn’t know that this happened…
Very touching man. Is that your smaller bro?
I dont have a little bro or sis, I will never understand your feeling, but from reading this I can at least feel that love.
Quite sentimental lately huh.
Jason,
maybe I did post it before but I can’t remember it.
mh,
what would you have done if you were not in the office??
Tommy Chieng,
now you knew it.
hajime,
nope, he was the middle one, one year younger than me.
Who’s sentimental lately??
Damn touching…..
i almost shed my tears while reading this yesterday, but i need to control my emotion during work muh - so i just cincai read only **shy**
if i’m reading this at home, i can read with my full attention and don’t have to worry about the tears :`(
i felt sorry for ur brother’s incident..
sometimes i even think that y would human being die in this world and bring lots of sadness to others that care a lot..
hmmm..
no matter how…b strong mate…
touching story
Hey man after reading your blog i reallt feel like crying edi ler… so sorry about your bro… can kinda tell that you and your bro are kinda close…Now he is in a better place with nothing to worry about…
pookyma,
wow, you also know the word “touching”!!
mh,
it seems like I should post something like this only after work??
jinyan,
it happened 10 years ago, I am okay now.
I think someone’s gone sometimes isn’t a bad thing, at least I think so for my brother. He had been poking with all the tubes, lying on the bed for 3 months and having to go through the chemotheraphy before he died.
mochii,
more to go, stay tuned!!
Ben ben,
yeah, you’re right.
ooo…icic…
may him rest in peace…
i finish work 1am anyway.. thanks for your concern though..