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Sohais are helpless!!
By Tiuniasing | November 23, 2007
I couldn’t remember when was the last time I went out yamchar with friends until yesterday. My cousin, Edmund called me yesterday for yamchar. I answered okay and drove to the mamak. As usual, I ordered 100 plus. You know, I don’t order drinks made by mamak such as kopi, milo or teh, because I find that the water in most of the mamak stalls are damn fucking dirty. What say you??
After a while, Sei Ngan Zai and Luk Chat joined us for yamchar. Three of them are real chui shui wong and sin kah lan. Everytime I meet with them, I feel as if enjoying comedy show by three sohai clowns. Before I continue sharing the stories, I have to tell you that three of them got limited knowledge but they love to think that they know a lot. That’s the reason why I say they are sin kah lan.
Sei Ngan Zai got married last year with a one and a half year baby son now. You are right, it was an unplanned marriage. He had to marry to his wife just because they hit the jackpot. The time when he married his wife, he was already 27 years of age, so was his wife. His financial status has not been stable until today, since the first day I knew him. He is a regular money borrower to all his friends, including me. But I have never lent him once because I am not very close to him and he also knows that I don’t have much favor to him. That’s the reason why I keep a distance with him.
One year plus ago when he wanted to marry, he asked around for money for his wedding, for house renovation, for the furnitures and some simple electrical appliances such as a TV and a VCD player. Edmund was one of the victims. According to Edmund, Sei Ngan Zai borrowed RM2,000 from him and it took him about one year and a half to fully return the money, and Edmund had to diu gao chat Sei Ngan Zai everyday just to ask for the money back. I have no comment on this because I do not know if Edmund is making his own story or just being exaggerated. Anyway, Sei Ngan Zai’s record is damn bad already so I have no choice but to believe what Edmund said.
In the mamak, Sei Ngan Zai asked me about my LCD TV:-
Sei Ngan Zai :: “Ah Tiu, I heard that your LCD TV is damn fucking big, is that true??”
Tiuniasing :: “Big ah?? Okay lah… 40 inches only. Ngam ngam hor!!”
Sei Ngan Zai :: “Wow… Mahai, mine is 29 inches and I already find it damn big. Now yours is 40 inches wor!! Hahaa… How much you bought it?? RM4000 ah??”
Tiuniasing :: “Mine is a Sony, that time I bought was priced RM7,999.”
Sei Ngan Zai :: “Wow… Hahaa… So fucking big screen, when see guai lou lanjiao (penis) that time, I will surely feel damn ji bei.”
Tiuniasing :: “Why??”
Sei Ngan Zai :: “Guai lou lanjiao is so huge, our Asian so small, sure ji bei lah!!”
Tiuniasing :: “Tiu… I never see lanjiao one lah, I use my LCD to see hai (pussy) and boh (boobs) only. Mahai, who asks you go and see lanjiao with a LCD?? Brainless betul…”
Luk Char and Edmund :: “Hahaa… Sohai, sohai!!”
Then he tried to act pandai and talked about news. He was refering to the terrible traffic condition in Kuala Lumpur in the afternoon. He said that the congested traffic in all major roads in Kuala Lumpur was due to the illegal gethering organized by our ex deputy prime minister, Anwar Ibrahim. Anyway, he was wrong because it was due to an illegel gathering by Hindraf (Hindu Rights Action Force):-
Tiuniasing :: “Mahai, today’s traffic is damn blardy congested!! I had an appointment in the afternoon and I had to cancel it because of the fucking traffic jam. Also, everywhere also got police roadblock.”
Sei Ngan Zai :: “Yeah… It’s because of Anwar the sei hai. He wants to fan ching fook ming, he wants to be the prime minister.”
Edmund :: “Wah, this Anwar is still very ambitous. He must already have many supporters.”
Luk Chat :: “Yeah lah, because of him, we have to suffer in the traffic.”
Edmund :: “So why do you think the police setup roadblocks??”
Sei Ngan Zai :: “To arrest those who wants to go and support Anwar lah. I tell you, the police will not see situation one. The police just want to stop Anwar supporters to attend the gathering.”
Luk Chat :: “Wah, like that then Abdullah Badawi sure lose in the coming election loh.”
Edmund :: “Everyone also say that. Aiya, I think he also can’t hold the position after the next National Election.”
Sei Ngan Zai :: “I tell you lah, today ah, the police will stop those who wear yellow, be you Chinese or Malay or Indian. If you wear yellow, they will arrest you. They won’t listen to excuses one.”
Luk Chat :: “Wah like that, luckily I didn’t wear yellow today.”
Tiuniasing :: “Where got such thing one?? Where got arrest everyone who wear yellow one?? If you like that say ah, then what about the Digi promoters?? They all are in yellow, right?? Then today all Digi staff will be arrested loh??”
Edmund and Luk Chat :: “HAHAAAA!! SOHAI… SOHAI!!”
Topics: Life |
Waa… ngor ting mm suen ahhh! Kakakaka…
Lol.. Sin kah lingam.. I din watch or read news also know wat happen.. Haha..
no comment weh..
Hallo! Wah! KL so happening arr? 40 inches LCD TV very big woah! I am sure pic very clear wan can see each hair one by one! BTW tq for dropping at my site! Have a nice day!
sohai, luk chat…. im impressed with these nicknames. imagine u see em @ LRT..
‘hei SOHAI, i am with LUK CHAT now ah, come over!”
I have a MAHAI friend who borrow money just to pretend he’s rich. When his debtors tiu 9 him, his secret weapon is cry. Maderfak lam yan loh kao also cry.
Pls arrest all Digi staff… hahaha
wahlan eh…..god of sinkalan lor like telling prophecy of msia wo!!! niameh HHAHAHAHAH
u guys don’t know about the “Bersih” rally -.-”
it was 3 weeks ago
damn keng the xin ka lan style.. hahahah…
DIGI yellow wakakakkaka
Cibai that fucker really tai sohai!!!!!!
hahaha
angel,
hahaa… lei hoi sam, ngo hoi sam!!
Rit,
wah… You so pandai one ah??
dy,
no comment is a comment too.
Horny Ang Moh,
did I drop by your site?? Sorry, I can’t remember.
aeroplane1234,
I have a few more names such as Fahai, Ngong Chat, Lan Tao, Hap Poh Lin, Ling Gu Bao, Ham Hai, etc…
anthraxxxx,
you should buy one big pack of tissue papers from Tesco for him.
Penny,
arrest our King also because most of the time His Majesty is in yellow in the public.
belle,
like those sohai who predicted there was another greater tsunami not long after the first tsunami.
Alex,
I don’t fucking care…
danielctw,
if you are in Brazil National Football team jersey, you better watch out!!
pookyma,
yes, the sohai of the sohai!!
Dangerous Variable,
…